Friends From The Internet

2017 was a HUGE year for video games, so we've got a HUGE podcast counting down our Top 5 Games of 2017, featuring Dave and Graziella from Friends from the Internet, Dustin Bailey, formerly of This Week in Games, and Heidi Kemps currently of This Week in Games!

Category:general -- posted at: 4:06pm EST

Recorded *LIVE* during #BD4PP2017, it's time for the DOWNTOWN NEMURU ULTIMATE ANIME SLEEPYTIME CHALLENGE POLAR GRAVITATION LINGUISTIC GRAVEYARD XRD EDITION 1.0.1 PATCH FALL 2017 EDITION!

Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinth of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood!

Time slips through our fingers 25 hours at a time. In this life, you wake up at 8:30 and you go to bed at 8:30 and the time between is but a gauzy dream. Kicking off our 2017 charity drive for Planned Parenthood (wherein our community raised $4200, woah!!) Graziella, the enduring champion, weathers an onslaught of BlendS, "like" potions, HUMAN TRIANGLES(?!). What's that?? The appearance of an OLD RIVAL shakes Graziella to her core and, like tossed dominos spinning in the air, the future becomes more tenuous than ever. Is this the end? Will Graziella survive the conflagration of this desolate windswept moor we call "the battleground of life?" What's more, will she triumph? Find out now, on The Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge Fall 2017 *LIVE* Edition!

(also I'm glad we had the video to grab audio from, because iphone voice memos appear to just flip on their aggressive noise canceling every single time now! So instead of "we sound like we're time traveling underwater for 28 minutes straight" you just had to endure some intermittent spots where the noise reduction couldn't tell the difference between our voices and the room noise. And THAT'S what we in the "business" call a *win*. b(o.o)b)

Direct download: MorningBrew011.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:39pm EST

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It's Revengecast, the only podcast on the internet that *KA-THUMP-KA-THUMP-KA-THUMP-KATHUMP* 😡😡 GENGNGHRMMMM😡😡*sound of: flailing arms and sexy make-up application*😡UBLUHHBBLUHHHBLUHH😡 ...oh wait charlotte is still in this show...?? 😡😡*KA-THUMP-KA-THUMP-KA-THUMP-KATHUMP*😡 😡*sound of: THE WORST FOE LIES WITHIN THE SELF* 😡HRHHHGHHRR😡*KA-THUMP-KA-THUMP-KA-THUMP-KATHUMP*😡😡 *sound of: YOU DON'T KNOW ME NOLAN*😡😡 Topics for Consideration: Conrad's Many Pie Fingers Rage Makeup The (not so) Dark Knight Returns Morality Time Bomb Bonking Hazards Innovative Bio-Digital Fungal Storage Solutions Nico...🙅‍♀️Go Away🙅‍♀️ Target Status: THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E14_-_Payback.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:50am EST

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It's Revengecast, the only podcast on the internet that takes two months to tell you what happened two days ago in a TV that went off the air two years back and, as if to add self-interested insult to our laggardly delay, we specifically recorded this to remind you that our 24-hour charity stream for Planned Parenthood is coming up on November 4th!   But also, Revengecast! It's been a while! What to catch you up on? Well, let's see, this so-called "Chillcast," proves to be anything BUT as we dip our toes right into Emily's long-held fantasy of boudoir cauterization. Oh, would that it were my long-lost love that were holding this red-hot poker, Niko, and not the daughter of the man who my long-lost love murdered. What was that? I didn't say anything. MAKE WITH THE CAUTERY, MURDER NURSE. It's just not Emily that's feeling the stings of a love lost (which is definitely not actually burgeoning sepsis). Why, Notorious Slime Lizard Conrad Grayson's so heartbroken in the departure & wrongful police pursuit of Lydia Davis--that, again, he planned to have happen, but it didn't happen in the way he planned it to have happened--and throwing away first editions of rare poems like Allegories R Us is going out of business. Likewise, Margaux is stripped from her Common People (Like You) bliss to discover the wrenching loss of control that happens in a publication when your under-paid, under-appreciated assistants are forced to accept task rabbit side gigs from the aforementioned Slime Lizards, bent on fomenting and resolving their own libel cases faster than an afternoon nine on the golf course, just to make ends meet. Boy, running a magazine sure is tough! And Margaux's not the only one who wants to sleep with Common People (Like You). Who else is sauntering by this big old horse triptych we call life? It's Sarah Marie Clemenzo Marciano Soprano Mikey Sonny Vito Corleone Paddingtonbeara! Who, thusly elevated into high society, just wants to sip her powerade by the pool in peace without the constant interruptions of the housewife (Emily) whose househome (Grayson Manor) she's wrecking by sleeping with her househusband (Danny). Is it too much to ask for a girl from the other side of the tracks to make a nice Càprésé Sàlàd and Pàstà Prïmávérà for her infidelitous beau without her mom showing up to put her doughy hands on her dowdy hips and talk some jibber-jabber like Sarah Marie Clemenzo Marciano Soprano Mikey Sonny Vito Corleone Paddington Bear I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO BE A HOME RAKER. :< Maaaaa! >.< She's snowing you! >.<; She's snowing you right into ruining our romantic dinner--and after I made all this nice GÁBBÁGÖÖL and everything!!! >.<;;;;;;; Would that we all had long-suffering mamans to watch over us when we're straying from our moral compasses, maybe then we wouldn't have to BURN OUR BULLET-RIDDLED TUMMIES WITH SEARING CAST IRON so we could resume our CONVOLUTED REVENGE PLANS OF QUESTIONABLE MERIT without the constant interruption of our laughably mortal flesh begging for even a moment's convalescence. Otherwise, Patrick, digging a little too deeply into matters beyond his ken, peels back the flesh of Victoria's weathered scars, forcing your humble Revengecast to Get Kinda Real for a few minutes, but that never lasts long. In the midst of Nolan and Aiden hurling themselves at mach 5 speed into a Weekend at Bernie's-style comedy of errors) of "keep our new roommate (who is skinning a dozen mangos in the kitchen right feckin' now 😬😬😬😬😬) from discovering the murder weapon that killed her father--which why did we hid it RIGHT UNDER HER BED again???" we receive a bit of fan service in an extremely brief acknowledgement that the show remembers <ERROR*DP-01*CHARACTER*NAME*NOT*FOUND*PLEASE*CONTACT*A*STAFF*WRITER> existed at some point in the chronology and people, whether in-universe or the viewers at home, might still care about him, but I wouldn't particularly lose sleep over it. In the Charlotte, we assume, is no longer in this show. REVENGECAST! REVENGECAST! REVENGECAST! (make sure you visit bit.ly/bd4pp2017 for more info on the streams!) Topics for Consideration: Hiccough Remedies SABOTAUGE! >:O Bitsy Hopkins and the "Champagne Friend" Big Ben's A-Chimin' I Got Mixed Up, Mixed Up, Mixed Up The Folk Wisdom of Stevedore Portman Target Status: THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!  
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E13_-_Hatred.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:06pm EST

This flimsy excuse for a podcast mostly exists to remind you that #BD4PP2017 is coming and STREAMTOBER starts tomorrow at bossdoors.tv! But in it Dave spoils ALL OF ATTACK ON TITAN so don't listen past the overproduced intro if you care about spoilers for everything UP TO AND INCLUDING THE CURRENT MANGA. (also since I have no illusions about anyone actually understanding a word I said, you can find information about the BD4PP stream here!)
Direct download: MorningBrew010.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00pm EST

Download here It's YFI! The only podcast on the internet that I'm currently rushing out to get done between work and a friend's weekend-long wedding extravaganza. But that's neither here nor there!! Thanks so much to Evan (@vamptvo) for joining us, you can find much of his work on AniGamers and my sinceristy apologies for not editing down that Maison Ikokku blather into a tighter bit but like I said I am EXTREMELY HARRIED THERE'S SO MUCH LEFT TO BE DONE TONIGHT AND NOW A SWITCH IS HAVING POWER INPUT ISSUES AND CANT DECIDE BETWEEN 110V AND 220V OH MY GOD I'M GONN D If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv!
If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! This Week's Major Skews: Sweet Potatoes RULE! This New "Facebook" Thing 👏property👏is👏people👏 GO BACK TO YOUR OWN TIME, KAGOMI. See you next time, kids!
 
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_012.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:06pm EST

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In this episode of Revengecast, we're really rushed to publicize that Evan Minto is going to be doing a special episode of #YFI with us this Thursday night (so get us your questions to questions@bossdoors.tv!) which is to say: I do an even worse job leveling the audio than I normally do and I know what you're saying "an ounce of mic discipline is worth a pound of single-band compressor+hard limiterx4 then normalize" but if I learned how to do that, like Homer Simpson and the wine-making course, I fear I'd lose the space in my brain where my encyclopedic knowledge of MMO loot tables lives?? Iiiiiiit's Revengecast, the only podcast about the only show where bullets shoot you so hard in the ova you can't have babies no more. And if you're worried I just ripped the major punch of the episode wide open... Well I kinda did... But luckily this episode is FULL of punches. Like when Jack punches Danny, or like the two Niko [Robin] (i guess we're calling her that?) lands on directly on Emily's gun-shot ovas to convince her to "man up" (her words not mine okay???) and stop pussyfooting around the memory of her father, "the great warrior," Ronald Takeda (okay so I don't remember if she actually said "man up" but she definitely said that). But enough about Niko and her bizarre and ill-fitting insertion into the otherwise rigid and unimpeachable Revenge chronology, we're "Note-lan" a few things all over this island!!! Like wondering why Danny is bumming around at Voulez sporting a fresh shiner and also going to the stowaway and acquiring a fresh shiner and also stalking and/or menacing Sarah Catamantello(-Paddingtonbeara) at her trash hovel-cum-illegal day care-cum-apartment inside a literal construction site instead of standing by his gut-shot (and subsequently gut-punched) wife. As Bruce Willis probably said in that movie--how wude! You know what else is rude? Hitting people on the head with bricks, Patrick! Now, by this point we all know Danny is a fuck, but now we hate Patrick again too?? I swear we just started liking the guy! Well, you know what they say, "you can't force love OR hate," but I certainly never would've imagined that sweet, innocent Patrick, the first (cast-off) child of Victoria Grayson (née Harper) would be capable of sinking to such dastardly deeds. You know what I would expect?  Victoria to rub it in! And boy oh boy, does she ever! Like in two separate scenes because in the first one she's just like "haha you got shot, also have a pastry, also the pastries are a consolation gift for your newfound inability to bear hale and hearty scions of your lineage" and in the second one she's like "haha you got shot, also no pastries this time, also still no babies, also you're pooooor" (not really seeing how that one lines up, but, well, you know). I would also expect Margaux to flip-flop several times about a course of action but I think this is the finest episode to date, wherein two people both convince her to doubt her instincts, to NOT doubt her instincts, and then to doubt her instincts once more. Hooeee, that's a ratio sliced finer than brie cheese! Danny's on the ropes, Emily's on the ropes, Nolan's on Hoarder's for his crippling jacket edition, and you know there's a dark (and possibly sensual) object lurking within the warm, fluffy interior of that innocuous stuffed animal. All this, and the return of everyone's favorite quiz show "Cookie or Candy Bar or Dog Breed" all in the scant span of 131 minutes? Woah nelly! Call us Cobblin' Carol, because we must've needed a shoehorn to pack it all in!!! ANYWAY. FORTNITE IS A VIDEOGAME SO IF YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT SKIP TO 15:00. ALSO I SORTA SPOIL SOMETHING FROM LAST SEASON'S GAME OF THRONES SO SKIP FROM 17:00 TO 20:00 LOOK JUST GENERALLY KEEP YOUR EARS UP I GUESS BUT AT THIS POINT WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS THAT SHOW, as Graziella said three times after we watched the last episode, IS LITERALLY WRITTEN BY FOUR-YEAR-OLDS. !?DetenteCastDetenteCastDetenteCast?! (send us your questions!) Topics for Consideration: The Siberian Husky Rescue Dog Rescue D.O.G. (the p is silent) Sub Zero's Cousin-Brother, Scorpion A Fundamental Misunderstanding in the Italian Localization of Look Who’s Talking FLESH IS GROSS BlueSpine by Cronenberg Eat Your Profiterole, Brian Target Status: THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E12_-_Endurance.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:12pm EST

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge Spring 2017 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinth of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! She lives her life by one creed: on the battlefield, you never think about what's next. Her code, her motto, her oath. Long is her struggle and, as the sun peeks over the horizon (well, +4 or so hours), battle-hardened and world-weary Graziella awakes from fitful slumber to find her struggle renewed. These seas are turbulent, just like those in the Battle of the Blackwater that cost our beloved Onion Knight two of his sons. But Ser Davos stood strong in the face of grief--and that weird explodey liquid they made a big deal out of but it wasn't it just like Super Oil or something--and so shall SHE. Embroiled in the mists of torment, Graziella is confronted by dastardly foes on all sides. Isekai cafes, anthropomorphic gun girls, humanoid weapons managing their post-office wage slavedom while searching for the true meaning of THOSE WORDS, cat idols, DOG idols, giraffe boyfriends??? What will those animeka think of next?! As a wise Graziella once said: THAT'S SO MUCH STUFF ALREADY!
Direct download: MorningBrew009.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:44pm EST

It's Revengecast! The show that takes us a months per single episode of a long-dead TV show to record and then when we finally do we accidentally ruin the file and take another whole week to record it. But hey, our lack of ability to keep to even a vague and/or general and/or not-completely-meaningless/in-name-only schedule is why you love us!

It is also, not coincidentally, a least a little bit of why we don't we have a Patreon! But hey, we can't all be CHAMBO TRAMBOPS.

So anyway I'm gonna blitz through this as fast as I can because in the 24 hours since this Revengecast was recorded I managed to drop a whole glass (technically it was a mason jar) of water on my computer in such a way that the glass straight up exploded and water got everywhere and let me the first to sorrowfully inform you the AIDRIA TECHNIQUE did NOTHING to save it.

So anyway got some salt about that.

You know what else is salty? THE OCEAN. Where EMILY CURRENTLY LIVES with her freshly delivered pair of bouncing baby BULLET WOUNDS courtesy of Danny who for some reason was upset about being told he was a father (in fairness, because it led to Sara Paddingtonbeara's attempted suicide but wow, talk about burying the lede there Danno). So Emily got shot and we left her out on the ocean for this 6-ish weeks like "???" Only for her to end up on some gnarly-ass fishing boat being basically fine except for her plot amnesia which, thankfully, and yes there is a god, is at least resolved by the end of the episode in a way that almost makes it worth it.

Meanwhile: everyone's got a story about where they were and what they were doing while Emily shot. With the combined powers of Charlock Hound and the reopening of Jashley Investigations (ft. Margaux) we tug taut these tangled tales into a swollen web of falsehood that you can only read one way: Lydia.

Oh Lydia, I'd feel sorry for you if you weren't the worst. As it stands, you're just the bad version of Margaux--equally as hapless and misinformed about your position in the world, but totally supercilious about it. In the parlance of our streamcasts, we summarize this attitude with the acronym "I-M-T-B"

And boy oh boy has there never been a more "IM" for "TB" to be than Lydia Davis. So of course they were gonna put the blame on you, you big, dumb baby--they're Graysons! It was in the cards long before your ill-conceived plan to do the thing that's been the cover art of this podcast for approximately 5 years completely without context. Well, red wine, your day in the sun has finally come! And people can finally know what that climactic shot of descending merlot truly means, except for how we replaced it with the Everything In The World Is Either A Potato Or Not A Potato image like a year ago, so once more for old times!

...oh right in the course of writing this post I forgot that image is always at the top of the post...

Is Charlotte the worst detective who ever lived? What dark secrets does Margaux Lemarchal hid on her nefarious memory stixx?? Will Conrad and Danny ever "Jash" it out or will their tamped rage finally boil over like an overstuffed pot of idaho golds??? Will Graz log on in time to complete her grand company dailies??? I don't know, but I'll tell you one thing: Revengecast is back & it'll never leave you again!

Except for the part where I have to go frantically google "apple care liquid damage macbook air" like six thousand more times before my appointment on Wednesday just in case Apple changes their mind on the subject in the meantime.

!!!!REVENGECASTNTERNVENGECASTRENVEGENATVCAST!!!!

Topics for Consideration:

Eldorast, Wizard of the Blue, Scion of the Seventh Age
Gutshot Triathalon
DARK NOLAN
The Dangers of "Bodycon"
One Degree of YRP
The Beautiful Potpourri of My Supposed Innocence

Direct download: Revengecast_S03E11_-_Homecoming.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:27pm EST

Oh no, Velvet Crowe! You've saved the world and yet all your good deeds are doomed to the bargain bin of video game history--Looks like it's up to Graziella to recount your legacy for posterity, BIEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!😖😖😖 😖

Direct download: MorningBrew008.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:16am EST

ffti Download here Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!
If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! YOU KNOW HOW I STARTED THIS EPISODE TALKING ABOUT HOW IN THE CHARIOT VIDEO WE STARTED RECORDING TOO LOUD AND THEN I LOWERED IT. WELL I DID IT ON THIS EPISODE TOO, SO ENJOY THE FIRST ~10 MINUTES. Also I feel weird cropping audio of a dub of a parody webcomic but here's the video and I guess here's the original artist because, according to Wealthyaardvark, "people became very internety about it" and she took it down, so thanks a lot internet?? This Week's Major Skews: Induction Burner Entraptment 2D Waifus: An Analysis of Hidden Costs The story about a little village that shoved donkey turds into a certain someone’s ears that JUST MIGHT surprise you Baby Nicky vs Schierke: Who Did It Best? See you next time, kids!
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_011.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:24pm EST

 

Friends from the Internet Dave Riley and Graziella Mattie join Zac to stare longingly into the void with Nier: Automata. PLUS: Persona 5 and our most anticipated games from E3!

Category:general -- posted at: 5:23pm EST

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We are back with Revengecast! BUT FIRST Dave tries to explain why he plays the fire emblem gambling for waifus game to me for like the 500th time. I guess you breed an army of waifus in a fake baby dimension? Or like…maybe you just will them into being then they come from the baby dimension? Future babies. Fighting your wars. Sweet. The one this week is Charlotte bride, but not our Charlotte, she’s just a brides maid. And a dummy. She gets to say i love you to her future sister in-law who she calls her "sort-of sister" but who is really her real sister. Also they’re just called sisters in-law, not sort-of sisters charlotte, its not complicated. Don’t do drugs kids, or at least, don’t do as many drugs as Charlotte did because she used to be top of her class and on her way to college and now she can’t remember what sisters in-law do. Nolan is trying to work Patrick but also trying to get boned because he actually likes him but Patrick is too stuck on Mommytoria. Conrad gets to flex his creepy daddy complex all over the place and Aiden and Emily get off some last minute pre revenge smooches just to make everything sloppy and unprofessional as hell. Takeda is sucking his teeth and shaking his head in the afterlife. Uhhhhh what else, Jack is boring. Margaux is cute. Oh yeah Moriniellonoello/Sarah Padingtonbeara tries to kill herself because the boy she liked then hated then kinda liked again is getting married. Topics for Consideration:

Sarah Paddingtonbeara Daddy Conrad Danny more like Drunky...again Takeda’s racially insensitive loft Mini scuba Sky mall beacon

Target Status: THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E10_-_Exodus.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm EST

ffti Download here Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!

If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! YOU KNOW HOW I STARTED THIS EPISODE TALKING ABOUT HOW IN THE CHARIOT VIDEO WE STARTED RECORDING TOO LOUD AND THEN I LOWERED IT. WELL I DID IT ON THIS EPISODE TOO, SO ENJOY THE FIRST ~10 MINUTES. Also I feel weird cropping audio of a dub of a parody webcomic but here's the video and I guess here's the original artist because, according to Wealthyaardvark, "people became very internety about it" and she took it down, so thanks a lot internet?? This Week's Major Skews: The Mean Bean Machine Of The Republican Party Graziella's SUPER SECRET ONE SHOT Time Travel Do-Over Choice Shock Your Feelings Dark Souls is... Incandescent Light Bulbs...? See you next time, kids!
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_010.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:21pm EST

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge Hyperdeluxe Ultramax Live Edition FoF (For The Future) 2017!!?? <Extra Shouty>: Spring 2017 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinthine of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! She's on the ropes! Won over by the nefarious forces of S.T.R.E.M., we bring the Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge into its FINAL FORM, the Live Stream! And so, in front of a live studio audience, Graziella is forced into her most dastardly challenge yet, and this time there'll be no "meeting the Anime-chans" to save her! 😑 (and thanks to Nick, you can "watch" the clipped highlight of the stream here, but I wouldn't recommend it because it's just my Final Fantasy 14 character dancing to anime songs for 45 minutes while we talk??? (but it does have the benefit of letting you see the responses from the chat!!) But lo! With the rumbling sound of a idling Fedex truck, a shining star appears as but a glimpse on the horizon. But is does this chance arrival herald salvation or destruction? Does noble Ian appear to help Graziella overcome these cruel odds or is he yet another wolf in sheep's clothing, feigning aid while meting out his own compromising form of justice? In the end, we're forced to confront what we always knew was true: do these hollow victories even matter?? For, in the hallowed halls of the DNUASC only one truth prevails: 😨 When Eromanga-sensei is on the menu, no one truly "wins." 😨
Direct download: MorningBrew007.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:55am EST

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  Now that I've got some of these writing deadlines behind me (go read my Persona 5 review and this cute cat story I did for Sword and Kettle Press! Also, I've got a submission in for this anthology about tricksters so send me your Dragon Ball Z energy if at all possible!) we can finally focus on what's important in life: a podcast about a canceled TV show that a confirmed 10(-ish) people listen to! REVENGE CAST REVENGE CAST REVENGE CAST What is there to say about Revenge, the show where maladaptive, underpaid mutants scuttle from beneath the floorboards to perform menial tasks for the scornful rich while we're forced to ignore our own comparative plight and instead root for the scornful rich who appear to have some sort of emotional principles, if not socioeconomic ones. Wait am I talking about TV .........OR REAL LIFE??? (Black Mirror Season 4 Coming Soon) No, in this case I'm definitely talking about TV.... or at least our sketchy interpretation thereof! Revenge Season 3 is definitely coming to middle, by which I mean a literal middle, by which I mean this is all build from next week's mid-season finale which, if you'll recall the season's in media res opener, ends with Things Going Perfectly And Exactly As Planned. So before that we got a lot of ducks to get in order! Like, for example, Lydia Davis is not only STILL alive, she's throwing all the fancy dresses off Victoria's balcony (Graz would write "cupola" but I have standards and refuse to cotton to the vocabulary of the rich). Unfortunately, though Lydia proves she isn't above causing a ruckus--and she does get one super-good dress/poor people/servant burn in despite concrete-heavy stares of Societal Disapproval brought forth by the combined might of Victoria and Emily (ship name in this instance: Vicily)--she's also all too willing to prove she isn't above proving how dumb she is, which is a lot. It's a lot dumb. Or it's less than she's dumb than she Just Doesn't Get It. In fact, among all characters who Just Doesn't Get It, I'm hard pressed to think of another who Just Doesn't Get It quite on Lydia's level--except for Margaux, I guess. But seriously who cares about Margaux?? Well, Jack for one! He's really afraid that she's going to get murdered if he keeps liking her. But gosh darnit he can't just stop liking her so he asks Nolan to hack her computer instead (this is a solution???) Of course, Nolan interprets that as "mack" her--or at least I assume that's why because otherwise why would he flounce around in her office waving flowers and working his Trademark Nolan Ross Charm (tm) otherwise? Look, EVERYONE GET READY TO GIRD THOSE LOINS. Emily certainly is, because she's PREGGGNUUUUUNNNNTT---AAAHHHHHH!😝😝😝😝😝😝 Only she's actually NOT pregnant so in reality she's girding those loins all the way to the fake pregnancy bank, because a real pregnancy back would be like "uhhh ma'am, I'm not in the business of calling pregnant women liars, but in this instance that's okay because I can definitively state you are lying about being pregnant, and therefore you're not technically a pregnant woman... But you are a liar." At which point the whole house of cards pretty much collapses, Danny runs off to wed (and potentially re-paralyze) the lovely (if hapless) Sara Caramello-BabyRuth-Rollo-CharlestonChew and live a idyllic existence free of Emily and also Emily lies. WHICH IS A HUGE PROBLEM FOR EMILY WHO'S KIND OF COUNTING ON THOSE LIES ATM. But it's all cool, man! Always Grace Under Fire, Emily dodges the pregnancy bank appointment with a little insider tip to the paparazzi, which has the fringe benefit of giving her yet another opportunity to stick the blame on Victoria (note #1 on Emily's Pinterest board: ASTBOV, in lovely calligraphy (or maybe needlepoint?)), turn Danny against her, turn Charlotte towards Emily (but don't let her bring your baby near those toxic chemicals, Ems, because sometimes Auntie Charlotte gets to smiling like a weird creepy mom in a Junji Ito comic when it comes to mani-pedis, and the nieces and nephews who deserve them), shoot guns while wearing Victoria's jewelry as part of this insanely convoluted plan (hey whatever happened to planting the gun in the trunk and taking the dead guy you murdered six episodes out of a freezer and planting HIM somewhere too?) I don't know. I'm not a Revenger by trade so maybe I don't get it--it just feels like we're so far deep in the Revenge Artistry weeds that I'm not even sure if Victoria's fate represents an actual ironic comeuppance or not? And usually this stuff is pretty obvious, y'know? Oh well, no big deal! Now that Aiden has guided you through the Honorable Japanese Pre-Battle Sake Ritual, with the carafe you stole from Benihana, in your all-purposeRoom Of Many Glowing Candles At Different Elevations, which you ripped off from the Ikea next door to the Benihana (and somehow neither of you said the word samurai like come on??), we all know The Plan will definitely go off without a hitch considering we definitely haven't already seen how this ends with you definitely getting shot in the GD tummy and falling off a boat! SURRENDER. SURRENDER. BUT DON'T LISTEN TO REVENGECAST ALL DAYYYYYY (because it's not even that long!) Topics for Consideration:

The Trials of BabyBoy Grayson Cute As A French "Buttone" The Martha Flaps Doctor Burt RealDoctorRoss, The Doctor of Cable (and also Stage Magic) SkyMall's Ethical Standards DPP vs. SPPP, And Other Questions Good Folk Darest Not Ask Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E09_-_Surrender.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:36pm EST

revengecast300

Listen Up!

Iiiiiiit's Revengecast, the only show people on the internet are calling Very Interesting Coz It'sLit (...aka, V.I.C.I.!) Why, you ask? Well I don't know, because maybe like WHAT OTHER PODCAST on the internet is currently hitting you with this hard humor about how rich people have sex on top of Ronald Regan's dead body?? Not 99% Invisible, that's for damn sure! HOLY CRAP, THERE'S SO MUCH HEAT IN THIS EPISODE THE HAMPTONS ARE PRACTICALLY ON FIRE. Which makes sense, because it takes place in the middle of the summer! But we're also talking in the allegorical sense, like how Danny's little Danny (or: Lil' Danno) is going buck wild over renewed opportunity to have much sex with a poor woman whose life (and spine) he recently ruined. Topically, Victoria is also heating up, and I don't mean menopause! I mean the heat where she's like "My master plan absolutely requires this poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks fucks my dumb son." Wow Vickers, growing up as a robot in an upper-middle class inventor's closet didn't do you no ethical favors, huh?? Also it's gross to have a wedding shower where people come out and thank a rich guy for breaking their ankles during sports, there I said it! But look, whatever might happen in this episode (and a great deal of it centers around 3x3 tiled mock-ups of internet shopping that'd be more at home on a late-90s Saturday afternoon Sci-Fi Original Pictures movie), nothing is more important than the climax we basically started Revengecast for, and I could tell you about it, but you know what they say, a picture is worth like a whole shitload of words. So let's post said picture and I'll leave this summary at that: ... ....... ........... .................... WAIT NO I WON'T. Because, finally, we have the ever-present (albeit fairly lukewarm) metaphysical heat of Margaux "The Margaux" LeMargaux popping the collar of her Investigative Trenchcoat and delving into the bowels of things thing that is apparently a case and/or scandal to meet in secret(cy???) with the only person who's got a pair of she-wolf balls big enough to blow this whole town wide open!! (also I know Zoolandia isn't by Pixar now but it's kinda six of one for me so stay outta my mentions about it; honestly I'm more embarrassed I got the 48 Rules of Power wrong) 🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻 Topics for Consideration:

Disgusting Christmas Bread PINS AND NEEDLES, ROHAN Anxious Shower Groans BuyHandguns.BuyDresses.Biz Eat The Jellybeans, Danny

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E08_-_Secrecy.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:26am EST

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge: Winter 2017 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinthine of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! This time, we've refined our strategies and learned from past mistakes. We hit her hard, we hit her fast, and we hit her when she's her most vulnerable (ie: "sleepy"). With The Graziellian Menace on the ropes, it's gonna be a nail-biter of a finish either way, and we still have no idea whether or not it's time to meet the anime-chans??? ;_; Thanks to everyone who submitted their fake anime titles, including Jo, whose company put out this cute visual novel about like tiny princes and dragon wimpy princes--Rose of Winter--you might've seen us play on our last 24-hour stream! Also, don't blame me for spoiling Fuuka for you because I gave you like ten warnings.  If you don't want Fuuka ruined, turn it off when you hear the Diva of the Battlefield (?!Prailine a la Mode!?) embark upon her dulcet croon!
Direct download: MorningBrew006.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:34pm EST

revengecast300

Listen Up!

Don't mean't to scare you, Ems, but there's a new sheriff in town and her name is BIZZY PRESTON. I guess? Or like maybe it's spelled Bissy...? Either way,  IT'S REVENGECAST #NONOTESEDITION!!!! You couldn't paint a prettier picture of the Hamptons in mid-summer. July 4th is just around the corner and what do rich people enjoy celebrating more than things were going swimmingly (like literally, because they were in the ocean (okay but technically i guess they were on a raft)) until that Bismuth B Preston, PR Flack To The Stars, showed up on their doorstep with a publicity plan, a suitcase, and a dream (and a large advance on a colossal invoice). Now it's like all we talk about is "reputation," and "how to reform the Grayson name," and "you kids wouldn't lie to me behind my back about having emotional affairs with poor ex-girlfriends whose chance at a peaceful, productive life was shattered directly by you (much like their spine) over one fateful night and a fifth of Banker's Club," right? Right? You know what they say. You can't spell "business" without "bizzy," and the Graysons paid for the only Bizzy in town and if that doesn't also round up to the best Bizzy in town then I'll eat my hat! Only problem is (aside from the part where Bizzy seems supremely bad at her job): a certain Buzzard Prusten has history with a certain Archibald J. Nolan "Nolz" Nolan The Third. And by "history" I mean a "traumatic and public tabloid outing that rent wide the rift between him and his homophobic father once and for all (just when I was about to bridge it with money, Ems; just when I was about to buy my poor father's love back with all my new money. ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_;) Here's what's really real: I just don't buy Nolan pining for an abusive father that abandoned him except for the fact that Nolan is so incredibly lonely. So, in that sense, the pieces do really fit. In a different sense, once you create a sex dolphin robot and imbue it with a human soul created through mad alchemy--like, quite frankly... Hey, I dunno. Maybe that's fine. Maybe that's normal. I can't presume to say. It's reasonable to say that NolzOne, locked up in the Basement's Basement, and being a real pill about it, isn't holding up his end of the bargain. Emily certainly isn't!! All she cares about is Revenge! And, like, it's one of those things where your friend gets really really into something and you're kinda like "it's cool I guess..."but she's like it's not """coool""" it's called Revenge and um actually??? It's super great? So get on my level, put on the Google Glass, and start Revenging before I officially dissolve this friendship just like your dad did. In this episode of Revengecast, aside from Bizzy Bs and their propensity for "readers," I'm not sure of a whole heck of a lot of merit actually happened. Like I guess it's fair to say that Victoria maybe spent a little too much time Pouncing on Peas to really get any substantive Burn Work done; then again, in that sense we used to say about games like Gigawing, "it's the slow bullet that kills," and I haven't seen a slower bullet than Sarah J. Cupcakes in about an age. I guess it's fair to say that Aiden was excommunicated from the Hamptons (again (again again?)) I guess, you might think, it's also fair to say that a Macaron is not a Macaroon (though it is, perhaps, a "Jackaroon"), but we've all been down that rabbit hole before (and somehow that, plus all his other nebulously terrible characteristics) didn't prevent Jack Porter from getting laid by the Total Wash Of Charisma that is Magaux Lemarchal, whose casually tousled hair  is, and will remain for some time, a thing to behold. AAAH. WE FORGOT TO MENTION HOW VICTORIA SENDS AIDEN OFF WITH A INDEPENDENCE DAY BURN. THAT'S WHAT WE DID. THAT'S WHAT WE FORGOT FORGOT. Topics for Consideration:

STICKY PISTOL Grayson Family Compote Do Bleckards Dream Of Electronic Sheep What Happened To Nemo?? Mme. Bex Delacroix-Taylor-Kreuz The Hunger Games but Kanzaki Nao

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E07_-_Resurgence.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:11pm EST

Evan and David sit down to rattle off their favorite anime, manga, and games of 2016, but this time they've got some help from two fellow podcasters: Dave Riley and Joel White from Dave & Joel's Fast Karate for the Gentleman! Tackling anime first, then manga, then games, the four hosts cover everything from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure to Overwatch as they celebrate a year of some pretty good nerd stuff. Topics include: log leg envy, weighted bra straps, and midnight kara-age. Slight spoiler warnings for Erased, JoJo's, and And Yet the Town Moves.

Thanks to Dave and Evan for having us on!

Category:general -- posted at: 10:13pm EST

Zac, Dave and Graz from Fast Karate for the Gentlemen and our own Dustin Bailey run down the best games they played in 2016, the Nintendo Switch and 2017's biggest games! The Last Guardian, Overwatch, Final Fantasy XV and much more!

Category:general -- posted at: 4:17pm EST

revengecast300

Listen Up!

OKAY SO. I respect you enough to lie to you (at least not completely) so I'm gonna be real as I can when I say that the Final Fantasy 14 patch came out today and I want to do some dungeons, and besides, I'm tried of working with this file because the audio is crappy at points and got all crackly with the sibilance and is that like maybe an error with the sample rate causing these artefacts and does it also have something to do with the fact that the source WAV file is a few minutes shorter inside of Audition than when I just load it up in VLC? Moving on, don't you think I would've learned some of these things in the past decade? Doesn't it make you reflect on what you're doing with your life??? ANYWAY, PARTS OF THIS SOUND NOT SO GREAT. I hope that doesn't detract too much from our sassy talk about NPR Podcasts, Strictly Far Too Close Filial Relationships, Bad News Beach Surveys, and Someone (Probably) Named Sarah in this episode of Revenge where you feel like a lot happened, but reflecting on it you're like "did it?" At the same time, you have to wonder "is that because we didn't go a good job painting our word tapestry?" But that road really just leads to self-doubt, so to stave it off we huff deeply of the perfumes that make up Nolan's budding (and I do mean budding, like a bug or a fungus) sex life with Patrick (because it involves bugs and maybe also fungus) and the gross potentiality of Danny having an affair with someone who Isn't Like Other Girls because she Drinks Beer and Is Working Class. Which I suppose is nothing  new for the people who brought you Jack Porter and also Declan Porter and also Carl Porter and also Their Friend Matt (or was it Mike?) and we finally, finally, finally get the first official meeting of THE SOCIETY FOR THE FRIENDS OF ARMALARM (SANS AIDEN, SO I GUESS NOT REALLY, BUT GIVE IT TIME) But really, I guess, the Mother/Son relationship that veers a little too close to an Arrested-Development-Gag-But-Played-Straight has got NOTHINS on the part where Conrad's real estate broker makes a super bad pun about sex when she says "I love a good master." And I kind of feel like it's sad in that way where it's like "is this just how old people are depicted as flirting on TV or is this the fate we're all doomed for? And who do I ask? And how do I cope when they tell me I'm already there?" Hey look, it's been a hard 2017. But it's about to get better! Because, now that I've got that out the gate, I'm off for some of dat: We'll do better next time! (...proportionately...?) Topics for Consideration:

Resume Gaps Rebecca Stone's Effective Yet Tasteful Wardrobe Sex Brunch Debrief Honey Money Me Time The Cat that Ate the Canary and/or Cream

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E06_-_Dissolution.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:42pm EST

Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!

If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!

This Week's Major Skews:
Put More Pasta In Ya Books, BITCH.
If Your Socks Aren’t Lickin’ The Beans
With Major Life Changes, It's Always Itsudatte MAI PEISU.
ANIME DAWGZ

See you next time, kids!

Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_009.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:28pm EST

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