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It's Revengecast! The show that takes us a months per single episode of a long-dead TV show to record and then when we finally do we accidentally ruin the file and take another whole week to record it. But hey, our lack of ability to keep to even a vague and/or general and/or not-completely-meaningless/in-name-only schedule is why you love us!

It is also, not coincidentally, a least a little bit of why we don't we have a Patreon! But hey, we can't all be CHAMBO TRAMBOPS.

So anyway I'm gonna blitz through this as fast as I can because in the 24 hours since this Revengecast was recorded I managed to drop a whole glass (technically it was a mason jar) of water on my computer in such a way that the glass straight up exploded and water got everywhere and let me the first to sorrowfully inform you the AIDRIA TECHNIQUE did NOTHING to save it.

So anyway got some salt about that.

You know what else is salty? THE OCEAN. Where EMILY CURRENTLY LIVES with her freshly delivered pair of bouncing baby BULLET WOUNDS courtesy of Danny who for some reason was upset about being told he was a father (in fairness, because it led to Sara Paddingtonbeara's attempted suicide but wow, talk about burying the lede there Danno). So Emily got shot and we left her out on the ocean for this 6-ish weeks like "???" Only for her to end up on some gnarly-ass fishing boat being basically fine except for her plot amnesia which, thankfully, and yes there is a god, is at least resolved by the end of the episode in a way that almost makes it worth it.

Meanwhile: everyone's got a story about where they were and what they were doing while Emily shot. With the combined powers of Charlock Hound and the reopening of Jashley Investigations (ft. Margaux) we tug taut these tangled tales into a swollen web of falsehood that you can only read one way: Lydia.

Oh Lydia, I'd feel sorry for you if you weren't the worst. As it stands, you're just the bad version of Margaux--equally as hapless and misinformed about your position in the world, but totally supercilious about it. In the parlance of our streamcasts, we summarize this attitude with the acronym "I-M-T-B"

And boy oh boy has there never been a more "IM" for "TB" to be than Lydia Davis. So of course they were gonna put the blame on you, you big, dumb baby--they're Graysons! It was in the cards long before your ill-conceived plan to do the thing that's been the cover art of this podcast for approximately 5 years completely without context. Well, red wine, your day in the sun has finally come! And people can finally know what that climactic shot of descending merlot truly means, except for how we replaced it with the Everything In The World Is Either A Potato Or Not A Potato image like a year ago, so once more for old times!

...oh right in the course of writing this post I forgot that image is always at the top of the post...

Is Charlotte the worst detective who ever lived? What dark secrets does Margaux Lemarchal hid on her nefarious memory stixx?? Will Conrad and Danny ever "Jash" it out or will their tamped rage finally boil over like an overstuffed pot of idaho golds??? Will Graz log on in time to complete her grand company dailies??? I don't know, but I'll tell you one thing: Revengecast is back & it'll never leave you again!

Except for the part where I have to go frantically google "apple care liquid damage macbook air" like six thousand more times before my appointment on Wednesday just in case Apple changes their mind on the subject in the meantime.

!!!!REVENGECASTNTERNVENGECASTRENVEGENATVCAST!!!!

Topics for Consideration:

Eldorast, Wizard of the Blue, Scion of the Seventh Age
Gutshot Triathalon
DARK NOLAN
The Dangers of "Bodycon"
One Degree of YRP
The Beautiful Potpourri of My Supposed Innocence

Direct download: Revengecast_S03E11_-_Homecoming.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:27pm EDT

Oh no, Velvet Crowe! You've saved the world and yet all your good deeds are doomed to the bargain bin of video game history--Looks like it's up to Graziella to recount your legacy for posterity, BIEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!😖😖😖 😖

Direct download: MorningBrew008.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:16am EDT

ffti Download here Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!
If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! YOU KNOW HOW I STARTED THIS EPISODE TALKING ABOUT HOW IN THE CHARIOT VIDEO WE STARTED RECORDING TOO LOUD AND THEN I LOWERED IT. WELL I DID IT ON THIS EPISODE TOO, SO ENJOY THE FIRST ~10 MINUTES. Also I feel weird cropping audio of a dub of a parody webcomic but here's the video and I guess here's the original artist because, according to Wealthyaardvark, "people became very internety about it" and she took it down, so thanks a lot internet?? This Week's Major Skews: Induction Burner Entraptment 2D Waifus: An Analysis of Hidden Costs The story about a little village that shoved donkey turds into a certain someone’s ears that JUST MIGHT surprise you Baby Nicky vs Schierke: Who Did It Best? See you next time, kids!
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_011.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:24pm EDT

 

Friends from the Internet Dave Riley and Graziella Mattie join Zac to stare longingly into the void with Nier: Automata. PLUS: Persona 5 and our most anticipated games from E3!

Category:general -- posted at: 5:23pm EDT

revengecast300

Listen Up!

We are back with Revengecast! BUT FIRST Dave tries to explain why he plays the fire emblem gambling for waifus game to me for like the 500th time. I guess you breed an army of waifus in a fake baby dimension? Or like…maybe you just will them into being then they come from the baby dimension? Future babies. Fighting your wars. Sweet. The one this week is Charlotte bride, but not our Charlotte, she’s just a brides maid. And a dummy. She gets to say i love you to her future sister in-law who she calls her "sort-of sister" but who is really her real sister. Also they’re just called sisters in-law, not sort-of sisters charlotte, its not complicated. Don’t do drugs kids, or at least, don’t do as many drugs as Charlotte did because she used to be top of her class and on her way to college and now she can’t remember what sisters in-law do. Nolan is trying to work Patrick but also trying to get boned because he actually likes him but Patrick is too stuck on Mommytoria. Conrad gets to flex his creepy daddy complex all over the place and Aiden and Emily get off some last minute pre revenge smooches just to make everything sloppy and unprofessional as hell. Takeda is sucking his teeth and shaking his head in the afterlife. Uhhhhh what else, Jack is boring. Margaux is cute. Oh yeah Moriniellonoello/Sarah Padingtonbeara tries to kill herself because the boy she liked then hated then kinda liked again is getting married. Topics for Consideration:

Sarah Paddingtonbeara Daddy Conrad Danny more like Drunky...again Takeda’s racially insensitive loft Mini scuba Sky mall beacon

Target Status: THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E10_-_Exodus.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm EDT

ffti Download here Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to questions@bossdoors.tv! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!

If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! YOU KNOW HOW I STARTED THIS EPISODE TALKING ABOUT HOW IN THE CHARIOT VIDEO WE STARTED RECORDING TOO LOUD AND THEN I LOWERED IT. WELL I DID IT ON THIS EPISODE TOO, SO ENJOY THE FIRST ~10 MINUTES. Also I feel weird cropping audio of a dub of a parody webcomic but here's the video and I guess here's the original artist because, according to Wealthyaardvark, "people became very internety about it" and she took it down, so thanks a lot internet?? This Week's Major Skews: The Mean Bean Machine Of The Republican Party Graziella's SUPER SECRET ONE SHOT Time Travel Do-Over Choice Shock Your Feelings Dark Souls is... Incandescent Light Bulbs...? See you next time, kids!
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_010.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:21pm EDT

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge Hyperdeluxe Ultramax Live Edition FoF (For The Future) 2017!!?? <Extra Shouty>: Spring 2017 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinthine of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! She's on the ropes! Won over by the nefarious forces of S.T.R.E.M., we bring the Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge into its FINAL FORM, the Live Stream! And so, in front of a live studio audience, Graziella is forced into her most dastardly challenge yet, and this time there'll be no "meeting the Anime-chans" to save her! 😑 (and thanks to Nick, you can "watch" the clipped highlight of the stream here, but I wouldn't recommend it because it's just my Final Fantasy 14 character dancing to anime songs for 45 minutes while we talk??? (but it does have the benefit of letting you see the responses from the chat!!) But lo! With the rumbling sound of a idling Fedex truck, a shining star appears as but a glimpse on the horizon. But is does this chance arrival herald salvation or destruction? Does noble Ian appear to help Graziella overcome these cruel odds or is he yet another wolf in sheep's clothing, feigning aid while meting out his own compromising form of justice? In the end, we're forced to confront what we always knew was true: do these hollow victories even matter?? For, in the hallowed halls of the DNUASC only one truth prevails: 😨 When Eromanga-sensei is on the menu, no one truly "wins." 😨
Direct download: MorningBrew007.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:55am EDT

revengecast300

Listen Up!

  Now that I've got some of these writing deadlines behind me (go read my Persona 5 review and this cute cat story I did for Sword and Kettle Press! Also, I've got a submission in for this anthology about tricksters so send me your Dragon Ball Z energy if at all possible!) we can finally focus on what's important in life: a podcast about a canceled TV show that a confirmed 10(-ish) people listen to! REVENGE CAST REVENGE CAST REVENGE CAST What is there to say about Revenge, the show where maladaptive, underpaid mutants scuttle from beneath the floorboards to perform menial tasks for the scornful rich while we're forced to ignore our own comparative plight and instead root for the scornful rich who appear to have some sort of emotional principles, if not socioeconomic ones. Wait am I talking about TV .........OR REAL LIFE??? (Black Mirror Season 4 Coming Soon) No, in this case I'm definitely talking about TV.... or at least our sketchy interpretation thereof! Revenge Season 3 is definitely coming to middle, by which I mean a literal middle, by which I mean this is all build from next week's mid-season finale which, if you'll recall the season's in media res opener, ends with Things Going Perfectly And Exactly As Planned. So before that we got a lot of ducks to get in order! Like, for example, Lydia Davis is not only STILL alive, she's throwing all the fancy dresses off Victoria's balcony (Graz would write "cupola" but I have standards and refuse to cotton to the vocabulary of the rich). Unfortunately, though Lydia proves she isn't above causing a ruckus--and she does get one super-good dress/poor people/servant burn in despite concrete-heavy stares of Societal Disapproval brought forth by the combined might of Victoria and Emily (ship name in this instance: Vicily)--she's also all too willing to prove she isn't above proving how dumb she is, which is a lot. It's a lot dumb. Or it's less than she's dumb than she Just Doesn't Get It. In fact, among all characters who Just Doesn't Get It, I'm hard pressed to think of another who Just Doesn't Get It quite on Lydia's level--except for Margaux, I guess. But seriously who cares about Margaux?? Well, Jack for one! He's really afraid that she's going to get murdered if he keeps liking her. But gosh darnit he can't just stop liking her so he asks Nolan to hack her computer instead (this is a solution???) Of course, Nolan interprets that as "mack" her--or at least I assume that's why because otherwise why would he flounce around in her office waving flowers and working his Trademark Nolan Ross Charm (tm) otherwise? Look, EVERYONE GET READY TO GIRD THOSE LOINS. Emily certainly is, because she's PREGGGNUUUUUNNNNTT---AAAHHHHHH!😝😝😝😝😝😝 Only she's actually NOT pregnant so in reality she's girding those loins all the way to the fake pregnancy bank, because a real pregnancy back would be like "uhhh ma'am, I'm not in the business of calling pregnant women liars, but in this instance that's okay because I can definitively state you are lying about being pregnant, and therefore you're not technically a pregnant woman... But you are a liar." At which point the whole house of cards pretty much collapses, Danny runs off to wed (and potentially re-paralyze) the lovely (if hapless) Sara Caramello-BabyRuth-Rollo-CharlestonChew and live a idyllic existence free of Emily and also Emily lies. WHICH IS A HUGE PROBLEM FOR EMILY WHO'S KIND OF COUNTING ON THOSE LIES ATM. But it's all cool, man! Always Grace Under Fire, Emily dodges the pregnancy bank appointment with a little insider tip to the paparazzi, which has the fringe benefit of giving her yet another opportunity to stick the blame on Victoria (note #1 on Emily's Pinterest board: ASTBOV, in lovely calligraphy (or maybe needlepoint?)), turn Danny against her, turn Charlotte towards Emily (but don't let her bring your baby near those toxic chemicals, Ems, because sometimes Auntie Charlotte gets to smiling like a weird creepy mom in a Junji Ito comic when it comes to mani-pedis, and the nieces and nephews who deserve them), shoot guns while wearing Victoria's jewelry as part of this insanely convoluted plan (hey whatever happened to planting the gun in the trunk and taking the dead guy you murdered six episodes out of a freezer and planting HIM somewhere too?) I don't know. I'm not a Revenger by trade so maybe I don't get it--it just feels like we're so far deep in the Revenge Artistry weeds that I'm not even sure if Victoria's fate represents an actual ironic comeuppance or not? And usually this stuff is pretty obvious, y'know? Oh well, no big deal! Now that Aiden has guided you through the Honorable Japanese Pre-Battle Sake Ritual, with the carafe you stole from Benihana, in your all-purposeRoom Of Many Glowing Candles At Different Elevations, which you ripped off from the Ikea next door to the Benihana (and somehow neither of you said the word samurai like come on??), we all know The Plan will definitely go off without a hitch considering we definitely haven't already seen how this ends with you definitely getting shot in the GD tummy and falling off a boat! SURRENDER. SURRENDER. BUT DON'T LISTEN TO REVENGECAST ALL DAYYYYYY (because it's not even that long!) Topics for Consideration:

The Trials of BabyBoy Grayson Cute As A French "Buttone" The Martha Flaps Doctor Burt RealDoctorRoss, The Doctor of Cable (and also Stage Magic) SkyMall's Ethical Standards DPP vs. SPPP, And Other Questions Good Folk Darest Not Ask Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E09_-_Surrender.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:36pm EDT

revengecast300

Listen Up!

Iiiiiiit's Revengecast, the only show people on the internet are calling Very Interesting Coz It'sLit (...aka, V.I.C.I.!) Why, you ask? Well I don't know, because maybe like WHAT OTHER PODCAST on the internet is currently hitting you with this hard humor about how rich people have sex on top of Ronald Regan's dead body?? Not 99% Invisible, that's for damn sure! HOLY CRAP, THERE'S SO MUCH HEAT IN THIS EPISODE THE HAMPTONS ARE PRACTICALLY ON FIRE. Which makes sense, because it takes place in the middle of the summer! But we're also talking in the allegorical sense, like how Danny's little Danny (or: Lil' Danno) is going buck wild over renewed opportunity to have much sex with a poor woman whose life (and spine) he recently ruined. Topically, Victoria is also heating up, and I don't mean menopause! I mean the heat where she's like "My master plan absolutely requires this poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks fucks my dumb son." Wow Vickers, growing up as a robot in an upper-middle class inventor's closet didn't do you no ethical favors, huh?? Also it's gross to have a wedding shower where people come out and thank a rich guy for breaking their ankles during sports, there I said it! But look, whatever might happen in this episode (and a great deal of it centers around 3x3 tiled mock-ups of internet shopping that'd be more at home on a late-90s Saturday afternoon Sci-Fi Original Pictures movie), nothing is more important than the climax we basically started Revengecast for, and I could tell you about it, but you know what they say, a picture is worth like a whole shitload of words. So let's post said picture and I'll leave this summary at that: ... ....... ........... .................... WAIT NO I WON'T. Because, finally, we have the ever-present (albeit fairly lukewarm) metaphysical heat of Margaux "The Margaux" LeMargaux popping the collar of her Investigative Trenchcoat and delving into the bowels of things thing that is apparently a case and/or scandal to meet in secret(cy???) with the only person who's got a pair of she-wolf balls big enough to blow this whole town wide open!! (also I know Zoolandia isn't by Pixar now but it's kinda six of one for me so stay outta my mentions about it; honestly I'm more embarrassed I got the 48 Rules of Power wrong) 🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻 Topics for Consideration:

Disgusting Christmas Bread PINS AND NEEDLES, ROHAN Anxious Shower Groans BuyHandguns.BuyDresses.Biz Eat The Jellybeans, Danny

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E08_-_Secrecy.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:26am EDT

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge: Winter 2017 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinthine of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! This time, we've refined our strategies and learned from past mistakes. We hit her hard, we hit her fast, and we hit her when she's her most vulnerable (ie: "sleepy"). With The Graziellian Menace on the ropes, it's gonna be a nail-biter of a finish either way, and we still have no idea whether or not it's time to meet the anime-chans??? ;_; Thanks to everyone who submitted their fake anime titles, including Jo, whose company put out this cute visual novel about like tiny princes and dragon wimpy princes--Rose of Winter--you might've seen us play on our last 24-hour stream! Also, don't blame me for spoiling Fuuka for you because I gave you like ten warnings.  If you don't want Fuuka ruined, turn it off when you hear the Diva of the Battlefield (?!Prailine a la Mode!?) embark upon her dulcet croon!
Direct download: MorningBrew006.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:34pm EDT