Friends From The Internet

Listen Up!

Iiiiiiit's Revengecast, the only show people on the internet are calling Very Interesting Coz It'sLit (...aka, V.I.C.I.!) Why, you ask? Well I don't know, because maybe like WHAT OTHER PODCAST on the internet is currently hitting you with this hard humor about how rich people have sex on top of Ronald Regan's dead body?? Not 99% Invisible, that's for damn sure! HOLY CRAP, THERE'S SO MUCH HEAT IN THIS EPISODE THE HAMPTONS ARE PRACTICALLY ON FIRE. Which makes sense, because it takes place in the middle of the summer! But we're also talking in the allegorical sense, like how Danny's little Danny (or: Lil' Danno) is going buck wild over renewed opportunity to have much sex with a poor woman whose life (and spine) he recently ruined. Topically, Victoria is also heating up, and I don't mean menopause! I mean the heat where she's like "My master plan absolutely requires this poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks fucks my dumb son." Wow Vickers, growing up as a robot in an upper-middle class inventor's closet didn't do you no ethical favors, huh?? Also it's gross to have a wedding shower where people come out and thank a rich guy for breaking their ankles during sports, there I said it! But look, whatever might happen in this episode (and a great deal of it centers around 3x3 tiled mock-ups of internet shopping that'd be more at home on a late-90s Saturday afternoon Sci-Fi Original Pictures movie), nothing is more important than the climax we basically started Revengecast for, and I could tell you about it, but you know what they say, a picture is worth like a whole shitload of words. So let's post said picture and I'll leave this summary at that: ... ....... ........... .................... WAIT NO I WON'T. Because, finally, we have the ever-present (albeit fairly lukewarm) metaphysical heat of Margaux "The Margaux" LeMargaux popping the collar of her Investigative Trenchcoat and delving into the bowels of things thing that is apparently a case and/or scandal to meet in secret(cy???) with the only person who's got a pair of she-wolf balls big enough to blow this whole town wide open!! (also I know Zoolandia isn't by Pixar now but it's kinda six of one for me so stay outta my mentions about it; honestly I'm more embarrassed I got the 48 Rules of Power wrong) 🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻REVENGE CATS🎉😻 Topics for Consideration:

Disgusting Christmas Bread PINS AND NEEDLES, ROHAN Anxious Shower Groans BuyHandguns.BuyDresses.Biz Eat The Jellybeans, Danny

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E08_-_Secrecy.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:26am EDT

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge: Winter 2017 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinthine of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! This time, we've refined our strategies and learned from past mistakes. We hit her hard, we hit her fast, and we hit her when she's her most vulnerable (ie: "sleepy"). With The Graziellian Menace on the ropes, it's gonna be a nail-biter of a finish either way, and we still have no idea whether or not it's time to meet the anime-chans??? ;_; Thanks to everyone who submitted their fake anime titles, including Jo, whose company put out this cute visual novel about like tiny princes and dragon wimpy princes--Rose of Winter--you might've seen us play on our last 24-hour stream! Also, don't blame me for spoiling Fuuka for you because I gave you like ten warnings.  If you don't want Fuuka ruined, turn it off when you hear the Diva of the Battlefield (?!Prailine a la Mode!?) embark upon her dulcet croon!
Direct download: MorningBrew006.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:34pm EDT


Listen Up!

Don't mean't to scare you, Ems, but there's a new sheriff in town and her name is BIZZY PRESTON. I guess? Or like maybe it's spelled Bissy...? Either way,  IT'S REVENGECAST #NONOTESEDITION!!!! You couldn't paint a prettier picture of the Hamptons in mid-summer. July 4th is just around the corner and what do rich people enjoy celebrating more than things were going swimmingly (like literally, because they were in the ocean (okay but technically i guess they were on a raft)) until that Bismuth B Preston, PR Flack To The Stars, showed up on their doorstep with a publicity plan, a suitcase, and a dream (and a large advance on a colossal invoice). Now it's like all we talk about is "reputation," and "how to reform the Grayson name," and "you kids wouldn't lie to me behind my back about having emotional affairs with poor ex-girlfriends whose chance at a peaceful, productive life was shattered directly by you (much like their spine) over one fateful night and a fifth of Banker's Club," right? Right? You know what they say. You can't spell "business" without "bizzy," and the Graysons paid for the only Bizzy in town and if that doesn't also round up to the best Bizzy in town then I'll eat my hat! Only problem is (aside from the part where Bizzy seems supremely bad at her job): a certain Buzzard Prusten has history with a certain Archibald J. Nolan "Nolz" Nolan The Third. And by "history" I mean a "traumatic and public tabloid outing that rent wide the rift between him and his homophobic father once and for all (just when I was about to bridge it with money, Ems; just when I was about to buy my poor father's love back with all my new money. ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_;) Here's what's really real: I just don't buy Nolan pining for an abusive father that abandoned him except for the fact that Nolan is so incredibly lonely. So, in that sense, the pieces do really fit. In a different sense, once you create a sex dolphin robot and imbue it with a human soul created through mad alchemy--like, quite frankly... Hey, I dunno. Maybe that's fine. Maybe that's normal. I can't presume to say. It's reasonable to say that NolzOne, locked up in the Basement's Basement, and being a real pill about it, isn't holding up his end of the bargain. Emily certainly isn't!! All she cares about is Revenge! And, like, it's one of those things where your friend gets really really into something and you're kinda like "it's cool I guess..."but she's like it's not """coool""" it's called Revenge and um actually??? It's super great? So get on my level, put on the Google Glass, and start Revenging before I officially dissolve this friendship just like your dad did. In this episode of Revengecast, aside from Bizzy Bs and their propensity for "readers," I'm not sure of a whole heck of a lot of merit actually happened. Like I guess it's fair to say that Victoria maybe spent a little too much time Pouncing on Peas to really get any substantive Burn Work done; then again, in that sense we used to say about games like Gigawing, "it's the slow bullet that kills," and I haven't seen a slower bullet than Sarah J. Cupcakes in about an age. I guess it's fair to say that Aiden was excommunicated from the Hamptons (again (again again?)) I guess, you might think, it's also fair to say that a Macaron is not a Macaroon (though it is, perhaps, a "Jackaroon"), but we've all been down that rabbit hole before (and somehow that, plus all his other nebulously terrible characteristics) didn't prevent Jack Porter from getting laid by the Total Wash Of Charisma that is Magaux Lemarchal, whose casually tousled hair  is, and will remain for some time, a thing to behold. AAAH. WE FORGOT TO MENTION HOW VICTORIA SENDS AIDEN OFF WITH A INDEPENDENCE DAY BURN. THAT'S WHAT WE DID. THAT'S WHAT WE FORGOT FORGOT. Topics for Consideration:

STICKY PISTOL Grayson Family Compote Do Bleckards Dream Of Electronic Sheep What Happened To Nemo?? Mme. Bex Delacroix-Taylor-Kreuz The Hunger Games but Kanzaki Nao

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E07_-_Resurgence.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:11pm EDT

Evan and David sit down to rattle off their favorite anime, manga, and games of 2016, but this time they've got some help from two fellow podcasters: Dave Riley and Joel White from Dave & Joel's Fast Karate for the Gentleman! Tackling anime first, then manga, then games, the four hosts cover everything from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure to Overwatch as they celebrate a year of some pretty good nerd stuff. Topics include: log leg envy, weighted bra straps, and midnight kara-age. Slight spoiler warnings for Erased, JoJo's, and And Yet the Town Moves.

Thanks to Dave and Evan for having us on!

Category:general -- posted at: 10:13pm EDT

Zac, Dave and Graz from Fast Karate for the Gentlemen and our own Dustin Bailey run down the best games they played in 2016, the Nintendo Switch and 2017's biggest games! The Last Guardian, Overwatch, Final Fantasy XV and much more!

Category:general -- posted at: 4:17pm EDT


Listen Up!

OKAY SO. I respect you enough to lie to you (at least not completely) so I'm gonna be real as I can when I say that the Final Fantasy 14 patch came out today and I want to do some dungeons, and besides, I'm tried of working with this file because the audio is crappy at points and got all crackly with the sibilance and is that like maybe an error with the sample rate causing these artefacts and does it also have something to do with the fact that the source WAV file is a few minutes shorter inside of Audition than when I just load it up in VLC? Moving on, don't you think I would've learned some of these things in the past decade? Doesn't it make you reflect on what you're doing with your life??? ANYWAY, PARTS OF THIS SOUND NOT SO GREAT. I hope that doesn't detract too much from our sassy talk about NPR Podcasts, Strictly Far Too Close Filial Relationships, Bad News Beach Surveys, and Someone (Probably) Named Sarah in this episode of Revenge where you feel like a lot happened, but reflecting on it you're like "did it?" At the same time, you have to wonder "is that because we didn't go a good job painting our word tapestry?" But that road really just leads to self-doubt, so to stave it off we huff deeply of the perfumes that make up Nolan's budding (and I do mean budding, like a bug or a fungus) sex life with Patrick (because it involves bugs and maybe also fungus) and the gross potentiality of Danny having an affair with someone who Isn't Like Other Girls because she Drinks Beer and Is Working Class. Which I suppose is nothing  new for the people who brought you Jack Porter and also Declan Porter and also Carl Porter and also Their Friend Matt (or was it Mike?) and we finally, finally, finally get the first official meeting of THE SOCIETY FOR THE FRIENDS OF ARMALARM (SANS AIDEN, SO I GUESS NOT REALLY, BUT GIVE IT TIME) But really, I guess, the Mother/Son relationship that veers a little too close to an Arrested-Development-Gag-But-Played-Straight has got NOTHINS on the part where Conrad's real estate broker makes a super bad pun about sex when she says "I love a good master." And I kind of feel like it's sad in that way where it's like "is this just how old people are depicted as flirting on TV or is this the fate we're all doomed for? And who do I ask? And how do I cope when they tell me I'm already there?" Hey look, it's been a hard 2017. But it's about to get better! Because, now that I've got that out the gate, I'm off for some of dat: We'll do better next time! (...proportionately...?) Topics for Consideration:

Resume Gaps Rebecca Stone's Effective Yet Tasteful Wardrobe Sex Brunch Debrief Honey Money Me Time The Cat that Ate the Canary and/or Cream

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE. If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E06_-_Dissolution.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:42pm EDT

Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!

If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!

This Week's Major Skews:
Put More Pasta In Ya Books, BITCH.
If Your Socks Aren’t Lickin’ The Beans
With Major Life Changes, It's Always Itsudatte MAI PEISU.

See you next time, kids!

Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_009.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:28pm EDT

Gary and Kole from [the way, way more popular than us] Bonfireside Chat had me on to talk about the Dark Souls 3 DLC, and it was so rad that we had to talk about it for 4+ hours!

The podcast was. I mean. The DLC was kind of whatever for a lot of it. As described below!

"Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Dave Riley talk about the remainder of the Ashes of Ariandel DLC."

Category:general -- posted at: 10:42pm EDT

Gary and Kole from [the way, way more popular than us] Bonfireside Chat had me on to talk about the Dark Souls 3 DLC, and it was so rad that we had to talk about it for 4+ hours!

The podcast was. I mean. The DLC was kind of whatever for a lot of it. As described below!

"Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Dave Riley talk about the Ashes of Ariandel DLC for Dark Souls III, and we cover everything up through the Depths of the Painting."

Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT

In this episode we go full-on #Bartleby because, given the dour prospects of our already ruinous country, we'd really Prefer Not To. But the world needs humor (maybe!) and, failing that, I guess speaking erratically about a TV show will have to suffice!

(but you can skip to around 30 minutes in if you want to skip the political talk)

Oh the Hamptons, oh 2013, it was a simpler time (not really). Already, reports of nipple-rubbing displays of dominance are resounding up and down the coast of Montauk, and the amount of shirtless Jack in this episode is, frankly, unprecented. But hey, what can you do? With a ButterPersonality like that, you gotta flex those pythons whenever you can, especially when the Wee Baby Coerl seems in direr danger than ever before--menaced as he is by a certain Surprise Englishmun.

(cast Blaster, Couerl! it'll reduce that lickspittle twerp to 1 hp and then daddy's rock-hard nips will finish the job!)

So look, things Hamptons-side aren't so hot either! Given Aiden's Perceived Dubba-Double Cross, he's clearly auditing a couple classes at the Tony Almeida Revenge Junior College, only to all-too-soon learn that 3 credit hours of yelling "MICHELLE!" isn't going to suffice when he's thrown deep into the battle-belly of Conrad's finest Les Mis ensemble rendition you've seen this side of that movie where Russel Crowe pretty much just spoke-sang all his lines.

Speaking of the French Revolution, Margaux's Dreaming a [comparatively low-aspiration] Dream of having her publishing magnate father show up in America for the launch of her magazine. When--BIG SHOCKO--he decides his daughter's distribution debut is beneath him, Margaux stumbles around the launch party in a daze and stammers out some line about him being unable to attend because he broke his "jambe" getting broken "dans l'avion"--basically, the adult version of "my dad, the fireman-slash-president, couldn't come to give a lecture to our social studies class because he's in Canada fighting the Nazis"--and crosses her petite fingers & toes that nobody remembers their high school French well enough to call her on her absurd and easily rebuked lie.

Regrettably, listeners, it is Margaux's cruel lot that her life be as pathetic as it is fictitious, and so it should come as no surprise that not only did Victoria minor in French during her time at Vassar, she also possesses the bat-like hearing and carnivorous blood-hunger of a true Vassar alum. Thus, with the scent of wounded-daughter in the air, Victoria homes in and whispers to a heart-heavy Margaux a mild set of words that just might patch the wounded enfant abandonné's irreparably père-damaged couer that being: "you gotta use that femininity; like, with your body; the sensuality, I mean; it can, perhaps, be a weapon."

And thus, confident with weaponized femininity like when you pick up a rocket launcher in Metal Slug and it goes all "RAWKET LAWN CHAIR" and you're like "wtf this guy smoke before he do this recording??? :o" Margaux strides right out of that office and embarks on a bold and unexpected new life path of using her Femininity in the Weaponized manner (read: booty shake) to make Jack feel bad for standing her up at the launch party (read: in lieu of actually confronting her father). And that's all she wrote! Wow! This shit really works! I got a feeling not a single bad or sad thing will afflict the young Lemarchal scion ever again!

Otherwise, Stuff is Rough! And you don't need me to tell that. Emily certainly doesn't, with the way Aiden's going around being a prick (that being, because he has the hornies for her) and Jack certainly doesn't with the way Aiden's going around being a prick sort-of on Emily's behalf (that being, on the business end of a louisville slugger), and Victoria certainly doesn't, with the way Emily makes her waste whole Sundays on dress fittings which should be a holy and sacred event not something you invite the sweaty poors too--that being, did Emily really have to come? I know it's for her wedding but.......................--and Danny certainly doesn't with the way he, hit harder by these eddying tides than anyone else,  desperately wants to spend his day off watching Air Buddies 3: Space Buddies but he can't because it's child-locked inside a tempting hutch and none of the Martha's will come over to  Emily's beach house to open it for him.

Look, it's not going to be easy from here on out. You know it. I know it. Everyone with anything but a potato perched upon their neck stalk knows it. So let's just try to think about, on the plus side, how many "ships" this episode "christens" (did I use that right??) when weaponized femiWINity of MarGack's flares bright enough for even the upstairs Emily voyeurs to see and volleys its opening kiss gambit straight into the laps of PatLan's "well I don't exactly trust you with all the creepy stuff you did but I guess we're here so let's take our shirts off and see what these nips end up doing."

Oh PatLan, we all knew exactly what those nips were going to do since the very start.




*clenches fist*

*whispers* ...rub like the devil hisself...

Topics for Consideration:

A Toxic Brew Of Social Misgivings
You Are My Plasma Rifle (But Also So's My Penis)
Victoria's Marinara Trench Backup Plan
Clams For Days
The Feelings BUTTcony

Direct download: Revengecast_S03E05_-_Control.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:40pm EDT