Friends From The Internet

It's the Revengecast so nice we had to... record it in two sessions??? So thanks a lot, in order of importance: my treacherous lungs, the cars and helicopters of Brooklyn, and our upstairs neighbor, the perennial bass player.

But we're not gonna let that slow us down (well, not more than usual) and neither should you! Because... I guess things happen in this episode?

No wait, they definitely do! With the rate that people are wearing pinstripe vests with no shirts all over this island while they talk on their cellphones in public spaces which is very rude, you hardly have a minute to catch your breath! I certainly didn't! Why, I was certifiably gobsmacked by the Danny's constant attempts to undermine Margaux's Margthority, and that's saying nothing of Conrad's sudden reflection on a certain indoor-outdoor structure that is not for the public's use, and this isn't the first time, I've had to warn you plebians about it so get to stepping.

Wait no, don't get to stepping! Or--fine, DON'T listen to me! Just for that, Conrad, for the ne plus ultra crime of NOT LISTENING TO ME WHEN I SAY STUFF AND MAKE GOOD POINTS, I've decided to kill you if it's the last thing I do, I swears it, I 2x swears it, here is my signed affidavit where I state "I intend to murder Conrad Grayson in a spectacular and dramatically ironic fashion, signed below, Victoria Grayson." How could that possibly blow up in my face? I really doubt it should and/or would!

Yes, as the explosive violence spills out into the streets of the sleepy Hamptons (well, one particular street, anyway), the #AidenFaces are so sharp you could cut 4k resolution with 'em and the Collar Watch: Dolphins of Montauk Editions are simply to die for--though, honestly, I could've done without Jack being so weird about his inseam in front of Shallot (and I could've done without Shallot at all, IYKWIM *AIR HORN AIR HORN AIR HORN AIR HORN*).

And hey, if nothing else, you always gotta give that plucky little network drama we like to call Revenge credit for its Efficient Use of Robed Friars on a Limited Budget (I guess they spent all their money this season on that Ferrari which has definitely been mentioned before in the show and wasn't just shoe-horned in as a convenient plot twist), if not its strangely Canid-Focus Conceptions of what constitutes Common Law Marriage.

Hey, it's a Revengecast!

...d-d-d-d-d-do you guys hear something...? 😱

Topics for Consideration:

Tricky Tricks In The Confessional Booth & Other Emily Thorne Capers
Manufactured Murder Meet Cutes
The Jack Porter Ultimate Feeling-Crush Strike
Victoria’s Hissatsu 100% Sure Kill Anti-Emily Device
The Ivan Schwartzmann Debacle

Direct download: Revengecast_S03E03_-_Confession.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:29pm EDT

ffti Download here Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions!
If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! This Week's Major Skews: Get a Meat Thermometer Tweeter Panic! Jobs vs. Vocation ~GottaProtectors~GottaProtectors~GottaProtectors~ See you next time, kids!
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_008.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:21pm EDT


Listen Up!

This time on Revengecast, concerns of timely departures are swept aside as we spend like fifty minutes talking about random junk like Stranger Things, You're Next, Deus Ex, renowned chair orator Clint Eastwood (FOR SOME REASON) before getting to the actual meat of the matter, namely that Emily Thorne dipped one toe too many into the holy water basin and has now found herself embroiled in the highest stake game the Revenge casino has on offer: Kitten or Not Kitten?? Don't let the constantly bemused expression, overwhelming compassion, endless charity outreach, and John Ritter-esque hair part fool you, Emily--that Father Paul is No Kitten. 

Or maybe he is?? Like, after all, that's the whole point of the game! And with a priest's reputation on the line, Emily finds herself surprised by her wavering self-righteousness--oh wait, that's not self-doubt! That's Nolan futilely chiming the Bell of Conscience & Everyday Basic Human Decency in your ear! WARE, EMILY! WARE! TRAIPSE DOWN NOT THIS THORNY PATH OF REVENGETH, LEST AN INNOCENT MAN YE DAMN, AND IN THE PROCESS, SUBMIT YE THY MARRED SOUL TO THE UNBOUNDED TORMENTS OF YON NYOLAN CAT TILL THE END OF THINE DAYS & BEYOND!

Well anyway, regardless of your feelings on a certain Padre Paolo and his felid aspect (or lack thereof), you have to admit that sin is running rampant all over this island. Dresses are falling off shoulders, clandestine yacht deals are brokered, Nolan's developed six new ways to describe hacking since he's not allowed to actually do any of it (and, let's be real about it folks, they're almost certainly double entendres for masturbation), Victoria is making weird implications about where she's going to be during Patrick's honeymoon (it's implicit in her statement), PEOPLE SOMEHOW REMEMBER FRANK EXISTED AND WE KNOW THAT BECAUSE THEY MENTION HIM BY NAME FOR SOME REASON, Conrad is "Getting" "Drunk" at the De Facto Family Summit, if you get what I'm implying (Emily is drugging him, is what I'm implying), and his ensuing grumpiness (and glass breaky-ness) causes a heart-struck Charlotte to seriously consider making a modest withdrawal from the Daughter Bank (that is to say: herself). Like whatever! That threat would've hit a lot harder if it weren't delivered by Ms. Casual Pony 2013. Face it, Charlotte, you lost what little Daughter Cache you had when you traded in your leather tights for yoga pants.

But if ever an arrow could pierce the seam in Conrad's armor, it's the extremely temporary threat of voided daughter admiration, so, after sobering up, his next move is to attain the conscience that Emily couldn't and scoot on down to the rain-washed steps of the darkened abbey in the middle of the night to have his confession heard by a conveniently proximate Father Paul--the Revenge Target (and Possible Kitten) Du Jour, in case you forgot. Yikes! That's a collision course in the making if I ever saw one! And so, as her Revenge mine cart barrels down a rickety track made of joyful puppies held by a perennially scowling Jack Porter, it's time for Emily Thorne to make a decision: KITTEN OR NOT KITTEN???

Topics for Consideration:

The Impracticality Of Robo-Racism "Cooking the Blueberries" The Mysterious Smallventures of Tiny Winona Ryder Moe For Margaux! That Part Where Fight Club Realizes He's Brad Pitt Only It's Emily & She's Every Antagonist In The Show To Date Seen The Vagina Bones On That Boy??

Target Status:

revanched2 If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E02_-_Sin.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:59pm EDT


Listen Up!

I know we're all a bit shook by the content of this Shocking Season Three Opener, but, unlike the completely appropriate episode title, have no FEAR! Because, in our first Revengecast with an on-site guest, Kenna from the Going Last podcast is here to guide us through the heady, yacht-cut waters of a rather tummy-rumbling season premiere!

Things sure have changed in Hamptons! Victoria is laying thick smooches on a questionable new Manpanion, Charlotte is decidedly not glowing (if you know what I mean (I mean those straight-ass bangs, am I right?? (looking like someone did her hair with a salad bowl))), Conrad's spending less time governing than he is micromanging the Arctic Glacier specs of his official Gubernatorial Picture of Dorian Gray--also he and Danny are pals again because why not--Nolan is out of prison thanks to his helpful robutts foiling the Initiative once (and off-screen) and for all, and the Stowaway is closed until The Season! Oh no! Where will Emily rest her troubled feet, if not in the churning gyre of Jack Porter's psyche??

Fret not, beloved, because The Season will be upon us sooner than you think! And, with the prow of Victoria's filial reconciliation crashing into the rocky shoals of her cloying possessiveness and Jack returning to deliver Jacktimatums like he owns the place (well, given it's the Stowaway, I guess he technically does!) before being possessed (corporeally, that is to say, not in Victoria's weird velvet-gloved version of Mommy Dearest) by the spirit of Sammy, god rest his soul, to deliver a labrador-style slobberslurp right on Emily's ill-prepared kisser, FEAR is in the air something fierce! And no one's olfactory nerves (and gun-shot stomach!) are more aflutter than Emily's, who displays an astonishing aptitude for multitasking by folding a One-If-By-Land, Twofer-By-Revenge strategy into her Victoria's erstwhile annual Memorial Day bash courtesy of Nolan's shockingly impromptu (or is it??) use of the forbidden Parachute Party Crash jutsu.

But beware! Nolan's not the only one touching ground in a shockingly impromptu fashion. A spry Francophone has alighted on American shores with the flutter of gossamer wings. Why, it's the Best Character in the History of Revenge, Margaux Lemarchal! And if you disagree that she's the best character (i.e. the worst character) in the show, then you're going to have to go through Dave! (and only Dave -ed)


(UHM We’ve somehow missed that Victoria’s balcony is a cupola AND that they call it a cupola in this episode. Truly Revenge reveals more of itself with each viewing. -ed)


(Heartfelt apologies for the missed opportunity to fully discuss our balcony feelings with our new and amazing guest, Kenna! -ed)

COMING BACK AROUND: as the scion of Europe's most powerful print magazine magnate (brief reminder: this show takes place in the 21st century and the Internet has been invented in this timeline), Margaux's got big plans and the pixie cut to match! Though, admittedly, her debut is less "Shock and Awe" than it is "Mock and Bawl" as she plummets face first into a lapful of Danny's cringeworthy sexual innuendo--not what I'd call a fantastic Coming Out forthis Parisienne Debutante! Oh well, it's hardly her fault. They don't teach high-level Revenge in those fancy Swiss Alps finishing schools (which, I think we'll all learn, becomes somewhat of a recurring theme with Margaux's character).

Naïveté, however, provides no succor to the long-suffering (but not for long!) Ashley Davenport. As the Memorial Day gala hits an explosive tummy ache of a climax and Emily's Anti-Ashley Scorched Earth Policy charges up to 130% Capacity, the Young Miss Davenport discovers she better get to working overtime if she plans avoid the *taxi emoji* *heart emoji* *knife in back emoji* *get a better plan in life Ashley or AT LEAST set your goals a little higher, JFC emoji* *taxi emoji* and keep her makeshift millet sack booties on US soil. Put that neck on a swivel, Ashley! You know as well as anyone that, thanks to the Greater European Character Conservation of Mass theory, if One Arrives then One Must Surely Leave, and this time I don't think even the practical powers of the routinely handsome Dr. Doctor will be able to save your social-climbing tootsies out from the summer's inaugural Young Yuppie Beachside Bonfire For S'Mores & Ritual Revenge Totem Immolation!

*hamburger emoji* *peace sign emoji* *Japanese kanji for Tree emoji* *number 3 emoji* *air plane emoji* *sobbing in the Eastern European bathroom because you accidentally just sold yourself into a life of human trafficking emoji* *cat face emoji* *train emoji*


(CUPOLA! -ed)

Topics for Consideration:

The Vandamme of Our Time Where'd the Pencil Go??Nolan 2.NO Charlotte's Most Definite Dick Peek Tw'One Without Tw'Other Victoria's Kawaiikunai Abandonment Issues

Target Status:

revanched-ashley If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S03E01_-_Fear.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:06pm EDT

It's time for the Downtown Nemuru Ultimate Anime Sleepytime Challenge: Summer 2016 Edition! Hold onto your seats, because it's time for a life or death struggle where Graziella's mettle is put to the absolute test as she wends and winds a labyrinthine of real and user-submitted anime titles in an quest to determine the very essence of Reality and Falsehood! (some messy audio in the beginning as I do a sloppy job cutting out the noise of the air conditioner compressor, it becomes marginally better after the Azumanga Daioh break!) (thanks to all the listeners who submitted titles, I'm pretty sure I got them all in!)
Direct download: MorningBrew004.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:34pm EDT


Listen Up!

Can I kick it?

For the sake of brevity, I'm going to assume you replied "yes, you can!"

Because it's Revengecast season 2 episode 22: Truth (part 2), the long-awaited Season Finalé, and we've got less than no time to waste!

Events Are Happening! Such as: Jack putting a heartbreaking end to all of his friendships--fast or otherwise--and smashing his cellphone 'neath his hoary old boot to assume the mantle of Stealth Jack in order to infiltrate the highest & deepest echelons of the Conrad Grayson Gubernatorial Security Apparatus. Why? Because that asshole tried to kill him! Or wait, right now we think it's Ashley what did that, but (bearing in mind the title of this episode), I have a feeling that lie won't linger longly. Especially not after Ashley points out a Logical Fallacy in Jack's Emotiona-Driven Emoji Argument via the unremitting iron gavel of the Jashley Investigations Charter. Looks like there's no room to "Jash" It Out on this one, Jack-o!

Emily is freaking out! Danny is freaking out (and punching people!) Aiden is on a somewhat uncharacteristically even keel, but don't worry about it because Nolan is picking up the slack by writhing on his fainting couch, sobbing hot tears of worry and clinging to his body pillow (an I, My, Me Strawberry Eggs dakimakura, natch) while the world turns to shit around him. Victoria's freaking out! Conrad's freaking out about Victoria's freak out (while standing gubernatorially on top of a car in the middle of Neo-Ground Zero) and, finally, finally, finally the true TRUTH of the Initiative is revealed in a  way which might surprise you.

(if you haven't been paying attention)

Briefly, we devote some thought to Why Did We Have To Leave England WHERE WE AT LEAST WE HAD SOME G-D WINDOWS??

But enough about that!! The catastrophic moments that change everyones lives aren't about to let up, no matter how much Conrad won't shut up about the chopter, and so, neither can we!

As the winding and weaving events of this season draw a bead on the climax quick as a lazy-eyed sniper, Maple, the golden retriever with a heart of gold (and a nose to match!) briefly ignores her whelming love of beavers, badgers, and all other aquatic mammals and/or rodents to foil Aiden's escape plans at the Canadian border (HI!), Declan, eddied about by the aftershocks of a desk that kinda fell on him, reassures Chocolate that they will definitely be the Best Teen Moms Ever while secretly planning a long convalescence in the Grey Havens (the dust got him all sniffly!), Stealth Jack dons his greatest disguise yet (y'know, of the two featured in this episode) and struggles to overcome his (possible) Manchurian Candidate conditioning, Victoria receives a strange and [expected] unexpected Thing on her Doorstep, Nolan's heart is shattered into a million-billion pieces as he finds himself posthumously betrayed by the only woman he ever loved, Conrad just grins a lot (jerk!), and Emily finally lays her bare soul as things ultimately come to an ultimate head in what we can definitely declare is definitely a season finale of a second season of a TV show called Revenge!


Topics for Consideration:

Illegal Greenland Anime Server/Bug-Out Bag You Can Reach Me Through My Nolan Slim Phillip: The Terror of Midtown Retcon(rad grayon)s Neil deGrasse Tyson — The Martyr We Created, The Hero We Deserve Ashley: Cyberpunk CEO to the Stars.

Target Status:

revanched2 If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!
Direct download: Revengecast_S02E22_-_Truth_Part_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:04pm EDT

ffti Download here Join us, your friends from the internet, in a questioncast! If you'd like to be on the next one, send your question to! If you'd like there to actually be a next one, share this around so more people will listen to it and we'll actually get questions! Ooops! As it turns out the microphones were poorly balanced. So please endure the difference between our audio levels with as many grains of salt as you can bear, and (~~~like we always say~~~) we'll do our best to do better next time!
If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! This Week's Major Skews: Home Ec: A Life Skills Seminar (Hosted By Clive Barker??) A Critical Case of the Sad Brains My Landlord and/or Roommates suck! Art vs. Craft Discussion: "We Don't Know Words" Edition See you next time, kids!
Direct download: FriendsFromTheInternet_007.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:54pm EDT

So a couple weeks back Graz and I were on the Going Last podcast to talk Dark Souls and the Dark Souls board game. But I never posted about it or linked it in the feed because I'm dumb and I forgot! So here it is, and thanks so much to Kenna and Rich for having us on, and it was a lot of fun, and I hope we didn't make total fools of ourselves!


This week we needed help from our Friends from the Internet, Dave and Graziella to breakdown Dark Souls – plus we review all the other amazing Kickstarters. We are also excited for the best versions of many games, including Legendary Encounters, Star Wars RPG and The Builders! So much to get to! So let’s get to it!

So get on over there and listen to it! Or download the mp3!

Auugh I hate myself for forgetting to post this for so looooong.

Category:general -- posted at: 10:40am EDT

Revengecast S02E21 - Truth (part 1)

In this episode of Revengecast: The Podcast About Revenge, Jack Porter's dockers are filled with a steaming load of [RATED E FOR EXPLICIT] and so are ours! With New York in peril thanks to the deployment of the devious Carrion device, wheels are spinning, deals are happening, and alliances are forged, broken, and forged again stronger than ever across not one but two separate islands!

In perhaps the briefest pairing yet, Jactoria Snooping Agency pairs up for the dual purpose of Talking like a Regency Novel Protagonist AND ALSO to investigate the strange occurrences transpiring behind the closed, mahogany boardroom doors of the nefarious Conchly Group(...Global)--who are super good at spycraft and the nonpareil experts in their field at not looking suspicious at all--and their innovative new Cunning Cons: Sponsored by Conrad Grayson (#JointheCONversation). Meanwhile, on the other side of the vestibule doors(where, TBQF, we all kind of wish they'd just stayed forever, like in a sort of Cask of Amontillado scenario), the Decgina Anti-Friends  fritter away their time bickering like only love-struck teenagers can, and Charlotte and Danny, who really bear no portmanteau, are power-napping their way across 17 Blocks (which is one extra block than Bruce Willis and Mos Def ever got!) three hours at a time.

But the [RATED E FOR EXPLICIT] really hits the fan when the power comes back and Emily finds out that maybe not everyone on the planet is super into her exact, specific method of Revanche. The darkest secrets of the Takeda Black Marker Circle Ritual is revealed, Victoria stoops to a new housekeeping low, Ashley is Aligning The Crystals to imbue Conrad with the spirit of Rich People's Greatest Ally, Aiden's heavy heart forces him to reveal a troubling encounter with The Man Who Bites (now streaming on Netflix!), Jack has definitely played at least one Pokemon game (looks like a real SOUL SILVER to me, am I right?), we lament the futility of one Babbano against the full might of the Vecchia Famiglia dei Magi (we also cut like half an hour of us humorlessly discussing the horrors of retributive criminal justice, so you're welcome), and Emily is with child?? Well, probably not, but somebody is, and you'll have to listen [rate, review, and subscribe to our patreon] to find out who!!

Topics for Consideration:

The NolanSat Satellite Sat Network (aka The NolSatSatSat)
Wolf Children Illumi and Nati
Many Marthas
Beverly Hills Time Cube 2: Hypercube
Celebrity Box Starring Bea Arthur
Revenge -- Prior: The Blade -- The Novel: The Tempest of CCH Pounder (with Madeline Stowe)
The Trendy Cloning Life of Luckey Persimmons
Givenchy Fuckin' Loafers


Direct download: Revengecast_S02E21_-_Truth_Part_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:11pm EDT

Woah, buddy! Just because we all-but slept through the first case of Sherlock Holmes and the Devil's Daughter doesn't mean we can't  half-assedly recap it for your listening pleasure! Thrill to the sound of us struggling to remember the simplest details, chill to the painful strife of 19th century child labor (cor blimey!!!!), and think, quite sternly, on what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar would do in this situation.
If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow! Also Download The mp3 Or Whatever
Direct download: MorningBrew003.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:21pm EDT